Sniff sniff....

So we've been sick lately... First me, then Andy, and then me again. I'm sure glad that the pugs can't catch our human sicknesses... or else I would be in trouble.

It's the curse/blessing of working at a daycare... toddlers are precious, but as my mother-in-law says, they are just little germ carriers. They say that after you work in daycare a while, you build up a solid immune system and then rarely get sick. *crossing fingers* That's what I'm hoping for.

Speaking of my day job... I have to say it REALLY irritates me that some parents leave their kids there for 12 hours straight! Drop them off before 6 am and then rush in just before 6 pm to pick them up just to take them home, feed them and put them in bed. Poor kids! Do the parents expect us to raise them? In situations like that, the child usually shows signs of insecurity, and fear. We have one little girl... who is PRECIOUS to say the least. Beautiful... could easily be a child model... and yet her mom leaves her for 12 hours a day... (the longest amount of time allowed by the state for a parent to leave a child at a childcare facility is 12 hours). The little one actually calls me and my co teacher "mommy"... and she cries... a lot. Makes me SO VERY ANGRY.... but what can I do except give her the best environment I can possibly give her while she is in my care.

FYI... if you leave your child at a daycare, we can easily tell you if you discipline your child or not... even if you do not inform us of your actions at home... and I ask this on behalf of all other daycare workers... PLEASE discipline your children (with love, of coarse)... it's better for us, the other children, and frankly, it's MUCH better for your child. If you do not FIRMLY discipline your children when they are young, they grow up to be more insecure, unstable and unable to adapt to the REAL WORLD. It's a statistical fact. I do not understand the move nowadays to let kid do as they please. It is just a form of laziness if you ask me.

Okay. I'm off my soap box for today.

Things we could learn from toddlers

Snacks are important.
Hugs and kisses make everything better.
Naps are essential.
Sometimes it's better to play alone.
Take turns and you might avoid getting pinched.
You might have to let the bigger kid have the toy.
Someone who was your friend yesterday might be your enemy today.
But they can be your friend again tomorrow.
Crying does not get you your way.
Throwing a fit does not get you your way.
Neither does pouting.

It's been a while...

Well, I was GENTLY reminded that I need to blog again... *giggle*

You know, I wonder some days what God has in store for me and Andy. Tomorrow is our 3 year anniversary. I am so glad to have him as my husband. Married life has not been perfect, but it has been an adventure... one that I would not give up for anything.

Andy will graduate in less than 14 months. What happens next? I have NO clue. Andy has no clue either. Will we move somewhere? What kind of jobs will we get? Will we have a family? What does God have next? Who knows. Makes me nervous... makes me excited... makes me frustrated... I'm just ready for it to be here. I hate waiting.

If you are bored... check out http://www.ucdailynews.com/... This website is part of my "part time job"... you might even find a few articles written by me or a cartoon or two by Andy... who knows where this will lead us.

Life in the fast lane

Sometimes I wonder why I make the decisions I make... For example, I am now working two jobs... I make the money we need but am never home and I am usually tired. *sigh* But I love my jobs... and I truly do enjoy them, but I wonder if I am the best wife I can be. My house is in disarray... Andy is never home either (taking 15 credit hours and teaching 45+ students every week does not give him much time to rest). I miss my husband. But I must remind myself that this is only for a short time... a season in our life before we start our family.

It seems so amazing to me now. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel... only about a year and 3 months left until Andy graduates. Our plan was always to wait until he graduates to start our family. That is not long from now. I want to cherish this time with just me and Andy... and I guess it's time for me to lose weight (which should be easy since I am chasing toddlers for a living) and time to prepare my body for pregnancy... They say you should start doing that at least a year to 18 months before you try to conceive. So strange that it is about time to start preparing for that.

Where to find the batteries...

Can anyone tell me where the hidden Energizer batteries are on toddlers? They just keep going and going and going... I do NOT have the energy they do.

And it is amazing that after a long day of frustrating moments, a hug or a blown kiss goodbye make me want to come back for another day... children are so precious. I watch while they sleep at nap time (I LOVE nap time... heehee) and just think about how each of them are so different and how they are each someone's baby... I try my best to treat them how I would want my own child treated.

And yes... the diapers........ you know, the diapers really do not bother me... yes, about 1/4 of them are poopy... but that is just the way it is.

Toddlers and such...

Well, I am officially a toddler teacher.

All I can say is... they kick my butt! I come home every day WORE OUT. Just think... two adults vs. ten toddlers.... *sigh* If I do not lose weight with this job, I will be VERY surprised. *smile*

But honestly, I really love it. I love getting to know the kids, figuring out what makes them tick and why they do what they do... My kids are 12 months to 24 months in age, so communication is a challenge. We have some that love to escape when we turn our back... some that are just sweet and loving... some that pitch fits and some that bite... and it's all about strategy to keep each child happy, clean, safe, fed and still be able to teach them colors, numbers, letters, and about God... Thankfully, I am at a Christian center and so I am able to teach these little ones Bible Stories.

I know there will be some days that I come home and tell Andy "We are NEVER having kids!!!" (Childcare is the BEST birth control). But in the end, I am so thankful for this job and I know I will love each child in my room... and will be sad as they move on to the other classes.

Stepping stones

It is amazing to me how God walks each of us through seasons in our lives... stepping stones, if you will, preparing us for the next phase in our lives. I look back on the decisions that I have made in the last few years... some that were seemingly smart decisions, some not so smart... but it seems to me that God has used my swerving path for my good.

Romans 8:28
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

And we think we are so smart... making "informed decisions" and doing what we think is best for our lives. But we only see a small part of the picture. Only God knows the future.

The Hallelujah Chorus

HALLELUJAH!

I am turning in my notice today... God provided not one but TWO jobs for me this week. It was a great step of faith for me to take a job that pays less (even though I will be SO MUCH HAPPIER in it...) but knowing that we will HAVE to depend on God for our financial stability. But I prayed about it and felt peace about it. Andy prayed about it and he felt peace about it... so I took the job. Then I get a phone call offering me a part time job that will suppliment the money I would be losing!!!! GOD IS SO GOOD!

I start my new jobs after Labor day... YAY!!!!!

Not myself

Today I came to a realization. This is not something I'm proud of... I'm just warning you.

I am not myself here... (no I'm not crazy... keep reading...) I have been at this job for over a year now. I do not believe I have had a "good day at work" since probably November... give or take a few days that my boss was on vacation. I think the stress and irritation is starting to get to me.

Someone asked me today if they had offended me... not understanding why they would ask me such a question, I inquired the reason. They said that I have been a bit short and testy with them lately. I honestly had not noticed. I sincerely apologized and assured them that there was nothing that they had done to upset me. I felt about three inches tall.

This is not ME. I am not like that. I want to be a servant and love those around me. I try to be patient and help whoever I can... at least that's who I've striven to be. Now that I think about it, I've been bringing this irritation and testiness home with me. Poor Andy. (Sorry honey... in case you are reading this.)

I think it's time for me to move on and get a new job. I have tried and tried to make myself just deal with it and grow up and quit whining. I keep reminding myself that this is not permanent and that I should just depend on God and ask Him to help me through each day. I have been attempting to do that and it has helped some but I do not know how much longer I can handle this position... this office... this manager. I do not want to be the person that people "walk on eggshells" around, for fear of a blow up. Maybe I'm just giving up too soon... I do not want to be the one that runs from her problems, either. *sigh*

I do not have any motivation to do my work. I have a hard time concentrating. I get depressed just about every Sunday night remembering that Monday morning is the next day... (although I believe most people deal with that... *smile*).

God please help me with this. I am ill-equipped to handle this situation.

A few of my favorite things...

Andy hugs
Babies... gotta love them
A good sermon
My parents
The smell after the rain
Unexpected messages from friends
A new worship song... and reviving old hymns
Indian food
Pug kisses
Sweet tea
A new skein of yarn
Consignment sales

New day... new blog... random thoughts...

Question... is it impossible to find a place to work that actually appreciates their employees? Pays them well and does not expect them to work their hands to the bone? That gives them GOOD benefits and does not make them pay dearly for the privilege? Just wondering if a place like this exists...

I made cappuccino muffins this weekend. They were not very good... wheat flour instead of all purpose flour and baking powder that refuses dissolve in the batter... not a good combination. I should try again.

I included a pug slide show in my blog now... My pugs make me happy.

The choir sang a song on Sunday. Angie and I had a duet... I think it went well. Only because God was in it. That song was hard for me... but I prayed that God would anoint it and that it would not be about me or Angie or the choir but that it would glorify Him. I think that is the only reason it went well. I honestly felt His presence and anointing like a blanket on my shoulders. It was an amazing experience.

King David dealt with depression... you can read it in the Psalms... so it must be okay for me to have days that I struggle with depression. I wonder if everyone struggles with depression at some point in their lives. But God is faithful... I sometimes feel guilty for being sad... like I am denying the work of God in my life. But I think He understands... He certainly has not deserted me yet. *smile* And I am thankful to have a husband that endures with me and does not think me strange... but loves me through my hard times.

UGH

Ever had one of those moments where you can't even believe how rude and selfish someone is acting? Especially a professing Christian person who KNOWS BETTER and claims to be better than that?!?!? Now, I know we as Christians all screw up. I do more than most. But I guess I just expect more from a Deacon/Chaplain type person in authority. UGH!!!!

Sorry... I just needed to vent a bit.

PUGS

I woke up this morning with one pug laying in my spot and another laying on my pillow. Not sure how they both were able to move me out of my spot and into the middle of the bed, but they are crafty little creatures.

Non plastic grocery bags

I've heard in California, they are outlawing plastic bags... sounds good to me. I hope that spreads across the country. My mom is panicking and hoarding plastic bags for good measure.
I've been happy to buy the non-plastic grocery bags... one at a time so as not to break my small piggy bank... but I think they are cool little reusable bags. Always hated the plastic bags. I think they are tacky. I guess they remind me of the slums in Nairobi... They say that the plastic bag could be the national "flower" of Kenya... seems about right.
And can't we go back to brown paper bags? They always seemed to work and they are so useful.

Just a thought.

Back in the land of the living

Well, I'm back home now. Almost mad that the world continued to keep it's busy schedule while I was gone. I feel like an outsider trying to jump back into the flow... and it's hard to do when you're emotionally drained from family drama and a funeral... and exhausted from 14 hours in a mini van with 4 other adults, a 4 year old and a 2 year old.

Oh well... life truly does go on.

I miss my Poppa Gould.

Funeral Arrangements

The viewing will be Sunday, July 27, 2008 at 6:00PM at Rosewood Funeral Home in Portland, TX.
The funeral will be Monday, July 28, 2008 at 12:00 PM at Rosewood Funeral Home in Portland, TX.

In leau of flowers, the family asks that you send monetary gifts to the TN District of the Assemblies of God. You may put "Charles Gould Sr" in the corner. All funds will be collected towards building a church in Africa in my grandfather's name.

Time for a funeral

My grandfather went home to be with the Lord last night at 6:51 PM.

Death

My grandfather is dying. He has pancreatic and liver cancer and was diagnosed about a year ago. They say that usually when someone is diagnosed with this type of cancer, a 1-2 month life span is all they are given. He's lived a year.

His name is Charles Gary Gould Sr. My father is named after him (hence the "JR"). I've never known anyone else like him. He was never a big man, probably 5'10" and 140 lbs at the most. He always gave VERY tight hugs... and he could talk the ear off of a horse. He is probably one of the wisest men I know. Always full of ideas, concepts and Biblical knowledge. He told me once that the world revolves on ideas. He is kind to all that come in contact with him, always has a word of encouragement and is very smart with his money. But of all the good things about my grandfather, the thing I will remember most about him is something my dad said... "He is a modern day Abraham"... translation = he walks with God. From my father, this is an EXTREME compliment of the greatest kind.

I do not know how much longer that my grandfather will be with us, though I do not think it will be long. He cannot hold a pencil, or spoon. He can no longer talk. For his sake, I pray that the Lord takes him soon so that he will no longer suffer and will be taken to a place of no more pain. I do not worry about him.

I pray for my grandmother and her loss. She married him when she was 14 years old. This will be a lonely time for her.

I pray for my dad. He is the oldest child and only son. He is losing one of his greatest spiritual leaders, his friend, his "old man".

I will miss Poppa Gould.

Going against the grain

I've noticed recently that I am surrounded by people who think Andy and I are crazy. Apparently we do things "out of the norm" and "differently"...

Yes, Andy walks to work most days. He is saving gas, (which everyone is beginning to think it a good plan), and the tire on our truck is flat. But he's been walking to work for a while now... it's only two miles and he likes to walk. He's actually in pretty good shape now. (Maybe I should start walking to work... except I would always be late and very sweaty... 6 miles is a bit much for a morning walk.)

And no, we don't eat out often... actually it's a rare thing nowadays... we usually cook at home, and more often than not, we eat vegetarian meals... not because we have to, but because we like it and it's healthy. Are we strange? I don't think so. (Besides, meat is expensive. *smile*)

Also, when Andy and I have children, we will be cloth diapering our kids. I've heard so many negative responses to that fact. For example, "you'll change your mind when you have kids" or "why would you want to do that?!?!" or "it's too much work"... I even feel pressure from some of those around me to change my mind about this. Honestly, it only makes me want to do it more.

Just like when I have my kids (don't worry... I'm not preggo... I just like to plan ahead and be prepared)... I will want to go through natural labor... NO PAIN MEDS. Now, if anyone that actually reads this knows me, you know I am a wimp... and a whiny one at that. But I know it would be better for the baby and, in the end, that's all that really matters. I've actually been looking into water birth and am very excited about it. They say that the water can ease labor pains up to 75%!! That's enough to convince me. *smile* Besides, I love baths... so hopefully that will relax me. Heehee.

So, all that to say... yes, we are abnormal in some respects... I am 25 years old and I crochet. Am I a granny? No. Women used to learn to sew and crochet when they were children to prepare them for womanhood. Andy and I would like to learn how to garden and grow our own food. Are we nuts? No. We just like fresh veggies. Yes, we recycle and yes, I reuse ziplock baggies and save old jars... Andy loves to cook more than I do and yes, he does the dishes! Is there a problem with going against the grain and just being ourselves? Is it weird to be a little old fashioned and love the old hymns more than the new praise songs?

Maybe I'm just rambling now... Oh well, it's my blog and I can ramble if I want to.

Open the windows...

Last night, I went home to a stuffy house. A storm had just come and gone and the air outside was crisp and clean. I was thrilled to be able to open all the windows in the house and "air out" my home. I laid on my couch, able to look outside my front window to see the neighbors' dogs at the house across the street pace by their fence as pedestrians walked by. I smiled while my older pug, Quigley, rushed to the door to bark at each passer-by as if he was going to eat them, although he is quite harmless. (He loves it when the door is open and he can see outside through the screen.) My baby pug, Daisy Lou, just tilts her head as he barks, trying to access if she should also be running to the door to protect their home with her girlish yips.
I'm not really sure why, but it just made my day to be able to nap on my couch with my windows open wide, my puppies napping close by (with one eye open, of coarse... making sure they don't miss another street walker) and the sun shining in. I guess it's just one of those little things that we sometimes forget to take the time to appreciate.

Puglets

I know that some people do not understand the love Andy and I have for our pugs... we laugh when they snort, get excited when they wag their pig-curls and lavish love on them when they are sleepy... we go out of our way to get them treats that they like, buy them toys when we can and take them outside to play and sniff to their heart's content. It's almost pathetic and we know it... but we don't care. We don't have kids yet so we are allowed a bit of pathetic-ness.

So I've decided to list some of the many wonderful things that our pugs give us... just so that you all know why we love them so.

*they give unconditional love

*they don't care if we are pretty or rich

*they are always happy to see us

*they smile at us when we are happy

*they pout and snuggle next to us when we are sad

*they make us laugh

*they entertain us

*they keep the "baby bug" at bay

*they have taught us lessons in child-rearing... specifically what NOT to do when raising a child

*they are just so cute!

*they have helped us "get through" some of the hardest times we've ever dealt with

You may not understand... and that's okay. I don't understand anyone that doesn't love my pugs as I do... but that's just my world.

New to this blogging thing...

Well, I'm new to this blogging experience. Kind of odd, I must say... kind of like a secret diary that anyone can read... or an email to anyone that wants to read it.
I am at work... I should be working. But I believe that if you don't take a few breaks in the day, you'll go mad... or at least I will. My job isn't that bad, though. I may complain alot, but I need to remind myself to thank God that I at least have a secure job in this unstable economy... well, I hope it's secure. *smile*
I'm waiting for 3:30 PM... then I can go home. Not sure what I'll do when I'm home, but I love to be home... maybe it's the housewife in me, or the fact that I have to be at work all day. I don't know. One day I'll be able to be home all day, to be a wife and a mom... then I will probably wish I was at work and could get away from the house.
Anyway... I guess this officially ends my first blog. I have nothing else to say.