Feel Good Wednesday...

Okay, Tonya... I totally stole this from you. *smile*

So today at lunch I was sitting in my car (because it was SO pretty outside) and I turned on the radio and just relaxed... then this song came on that really spoke to me. I wanted to share it and it is Wednesday... so this must be my "Feel Good Wednesday" song.

Kristin... this one's for you.

Before the Morning - Josh Wilson
Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there’s a God who loves you where is He now

Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Someday somehow you’ll see you’ll see

Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming

So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

My friend you know how this all ends
You know where you’re going
You just don’t know how you’ll get there
So say a prayer And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God

But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time but you’ll see the bigger picture
Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory
It’s just the hurt before the healing
Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

Doing Laundry...

I have decided that dishes and laundry are not weekend activities. Working all week and then doing housework all weekend, when do you rest? I would rather spend the weekend with my wonderful husband and do housework on Monday nights.

6 years

Andy and I have been together for 6 years today! I love you, honey!

Conversation with Dad

So Andy and I were talking with Mom and Dad Saturday night... and Dad was expressing his concerns over the crazy amount of stress Andy and I have been under the past few months.

He listed just a few of the things we have walked through this year... With me working two jobs to get Andy through college, him working and doing school full time, money always being super tight, then we lost the baby, then Andy had to finish his last semester. So Andy graduated, Christmas was a few days later and then we moved over 100 miles a few days after that. So our new landlady is crazy, Andy could not find a job, I started working a new job a few days after we moved, Andy started the band with the boys, we were having to unpack our house... with continued financial stress and such. Wow. No wonder we are stressed!

Well... I guess I feel a little justified and certainly no longer crazy! Thank God for my parents!

And there is light at the end of the tunnel! Andy started a new job today! With benefits! And he has begun teaching home guitar lessons... so it is possible that I might be able to work part time instead of full time soon! I feel the weight of being the breadwinner being lifted off of my shoulders. And for the first time in 3 years, Andy and I will have a similar schedule! Maybe we will be able to go on our first vacation in 4 years!

So maybe if the stress of life lessens, it might be easier to have a baby! Just have to keep praying!

Still waiting...

Dear God,

I do not understand. It has been over six months since we lost our precious little bean. We have officially been trying for a baby for a year now. Each month we pray for a child. Each month we hope for a baby. Each month we put our faith in you... and each month we are still waiting.

Now, I know that your timing is not ours. I know we do not see the entire picture. I know that you have a plan. But I just cannot see it.

I am exhausted. I am tired of waiting. Everywhere I turn, I hear friends say "it will happen" or "just be patient". And everywhere I turn, people are pregnant and expecting their miracles. It just hurts my heart.

I feel like I am close to a breakdown. With financial stresses, unfulfilled expectations, and not much to smile about right now, it is hard to trust. I just do not know how much more I can handle.

I can feel my faith being tested... I hope I pass the test, Lord, because right now, all I can see is disappointment and pain. Some days are better than others. I guess I am just in a dark moment.

Please help me God.

Goodman House gig #2

The boys played again last night. TOTALLY different venue from the first one. A LOUD coffeehouse in Ridgetop where bands small touring bands play.




Must say, the band before them was... um, terrible. Very very very loud and not good. Then the guys got up and WOWED us. And this was a non-christian venue... the boys were singing Christian songs with awesome lyrics in the midst of some strange guys. I was VERY proud of them.

When will it be my turn?

When will it be my turn? I'm tired of finding out that everyone else is pregnant and I'm still waiting. *sigh*
Please, God... let it be my turn soon.