Christmas 2010

Christmas was a good day. A time of family, fellowship, food and food and more food. There was a distinct sadness as we prepared to open gifts. Dad normally would open his Bible to Luke 2 and read the story of Christ's birth, give a small devotional and prayer. This year, we all sat for a moment and waited... wondering if he would at least try. But he had a difficult day on Christmas and was unable to fill his usual role. Mom tried to fill the gap with words of love and thanks for the family... but the absence of normalcy was evident. We are praying and hoping for a new year... a blessed year.

Gifts were still abundant, despite the lack of funds everyone has been experiencing. But the focus was not on that but more on the gift of God, the love of family and the precious time we have together... and of coarse the food. *smile*All in all, it was a blessed day.

New Christmas Eve tradition

I am a procrastinator. I'm finishing sewing my last two presents today... on Christmas Eve. I guess it's my new Christmas Eve tradition... this certainly isn't the first year I've done this. *smile*

Quigley says "snort". Daisy is sleeping on my hand as I type. I love my pugs.

God of the impossible

There's a song that's been in my heart this week. Written by Sarah Reeves (a signed artist that I've actually met and spent time hanging out with... she is precious.) Anyway... I've been dealing with some struggles this week... sadness and the like.
My Dad is not doing well at all. I told my mom today that I really miss "Dad"... He has not been himself for about a year now. It just makes me sad.
This was supposed to be my child's first Christmas. I'm still not pregnant. And I seem to be surrounded by children and babies. It's just difficult some days. The more I think about adoption right now, the more I feel more like Sarah in the Bible... trying to find my own way to God's promise. If the Lord leads us to adoption, I am totally and completely happy with that. But if I am trying to find a shortcut to the Lord's blessing, then I just need to stop and remind myself of who God really is.

So this song has been my encouragement this week.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzFBJQjMnbU


God of the Impossible

My biggest storm, Your drop of rain
My raging fire, Your candle flame
My deepest ocean is like a puddle at Your feet

My darkest valley, my greatest mountain
They are Your prairie for You are constant
Your ways are higher than any other
So I will sing

God of the impossible
Maker of all miracles
I stand in awe of You
I'm so amazed by how You
Reach into my brokenness
Make me beautiful again
I believe Yes, I believe
Nothing is impossible with You

When I am weak You are my strength
And all Your power is made complete
You turn my failures to victories
Hallelujah, hallelujah

God of the impossible
Maker of all miracles
I stand in awe of You
I'm so amazed by how You
Reach into my brokenness
Make me beautiful again
I believe Yes, I believe
Nothing is impossible with You

Healer, Healer I'm restored by a healer
Provider, Provider I am filled by a provider
Deliverer, Deliverer I'm set free by a deliverer
Savior, my Savior I'm redeemed by a savior

God of the impossible
Maker of all miracles
I stand in awe of You
I'm so amazed by how you
Reach into my brokenness
Make me beautiful again
I believe Yes, I believe
Nothing is impossible with You

Random thoughts...

It's a cold night so I'm making chili. But I'm honestly not hungry... already had some serious snack time today. (Chips and homemade salsa... yum.)

I've been thinking today that it really does not matter how much money you make, what job you have, what education you have... in the end, the most important things are: do you love Jesus? do you do your best for your family? do you work hard at whatever the Lord gives you? I think that is how we should gauge our importance... and CERTAINLY NOT in our weight or dress size. Just a thought.

On a very unprofessional note, I'm hoping an ice storm really does blow through Nashville... nothing severe, just enough so that I do not have to go to work tomorrow.

The word "adoption" has been frequent in our home lately. It has been almost 2 years since we decided to try for a baby. Maybe the child God has for us won't be biological. I still long for the pregnancy experience. I honestly want to experience birth. I know, I know. I must be crazy, right? But I know this is all in the Lord's hands. I have no choice but to trust Him with it.

I made a bow to put in my Daisy pug's fur. She does NOT like it. I have to attach it with Caro syrup. *giggle*

Andy is playing Nintendo... the original 8-bit Nintendo... Zelda to be exact. I think it's cute. He reverts to the days of childhood and sick days off from school.

Christmas is coming. I am still SO not ready. If I would only quit procrastinating on my projects. Maybe I wouldn't have to stay up late on Christmas Eve again sewing like I did a few years ago making a quilt for my mom... at least I can say that she loves it. It was worth the effort.

Have not sent out Christmas cards yet. I'm sad about that. I wanted to send out a "family" picture with Andy, me, and the pugs... but it's really hard to get a picture of us all since there is no one to take the picture. Was going to get professional pictures done, but with the budget tight right now, we just couldn't afford it. Oh well.

Laundry Detergent... by popular demand

Okay... here is the recipe I use for laundry. It takes about $9 to get all the items needed to start out but then it is between $1-$2.50 per recipe after that... until you run out of something besides the soap. Seriously, we have figured it out to about $.03 per load. And it seems to work really well. It takes about 10 minutes to make and lasts for MONTHS.

Ingredients:


1 Bar of Fels Naptha soap, grated (I found this soap at Kroger and Publix... around $2.50 each bar at Kroger and $0.99 at Publix. Look on the laundry aisle at a major chain grocery store... either at the top or bottom of the shelves since it's not a common item. This is a laundry soap - you can also use Ivory soap but the Fels Naptha cleans better. I grate it with a cheese grater.)

1 cup Borax (Also found on the laundry aisle. Box of powder.)

1/2 cup Laundry Soda (Again... the laundry aisle. Laundry soda is like baking soda, just stronger. I have the "Arm & Hammer" brand... yellow box.)

5 gallon bucket

Hot water

Directions:

Put grated soap in a saucepan with just enough water to cover it well on the stove on medium heat. Stay with it to keep it from boiling over but heat it long enough to have no chunks of soap left.

Put Borax and Laundry soda in the five gallon bucket. Pour melted soap mixture into bucket. Add hot water until near the top of the bucket. (Stir before water gets to top so not to splash everywhere but make sure all ingredients are mixed.)

Cover and leave overnight.

Stir the next day. It should be the consistency of jell-o.

Use 1/2 cup per load. If you have an HE machine, use about 1/3 cup per load.

That's it!

My next endeavor... dishwasher detergent. Hmmm...

Yes... I'm still alive

Well, it's been over six months since my last blog. Yes, I'm still alive. I hope to blog a bit more in the future... when I think about it. *smile* My computer is slow as molasses... so it is hard to motivate myself to get online often.

So what have you all missed? (The 4 precious people that actually care enough to read this blog)... Let's see...

The pugs are fat and happy... some things never change. They are hoping for some of the chicken I am eating as I type this... and they will more than likely get some.

I still chase snot-nosed toddlers for a living. The Lord has blessed me at work and I know that He placed me where I am for a reason. I simply strive to honor Him in the little things...

The Lord blessed us GREATLY with helping us find a church home that we love.

Andy and I are still hoping and praying for the blessing of a child.

My father has struggled immensely with his health. We are praying for a miracle.

Christmas is coming quickly and I am so not ready yet.

My friend Kendalyn had her precious baby girl Jessarehla (Jessa) Michelle Koehler in July. My friend Tonya had her precious (and long awaited) baby boy Brady Clayton Bohannon in June. My friend Rachel Freeze had her precious baby girl Elizabeth (Eliza) Kelley Freeze in September. My brother-in-law Justin Burney came back from Iraq to be there for his daughter's birth this past week... Leah Blakely Burney. And my sister-in-law Melanie Burney Odom is expecting her precious little boy in May. (ALOT of babies... *smile*)

I learned how to make my own laundry detergent and have saved alot of money doing so. (I will have to blog concerning this... heehee.)

I LOVE Aldi stores... save so much money on groceries!

Okay... You're all caught up now. Be happy.

Dear Little Bean...

Dear Little Bean,

How much I miss you. I cherished the time I had you and thank God for what moments I did have with you, though they were cut short... before I ever got to see your sweet face. I think of you today, wondering if it would have been your birthday, considering that today is the day you would have been due to enter this world.
Mommy and Daddy miss you and love you very much. We know that you are well taken care of among angels, mommy's Mimi, and your two wonderful great-grandfathers.
We are hopeful that God will bless us again soon, not so that we forget you but to fill mommy's and daddy's empty arms.
We will see you one day, but until then, you are loved.

Love,
Mommy

Feel Good Wednesday...

Okay, Tonya... I totally stole this from you. *smile*

So today at lunch I was sitting in my car (because it was SO pretty outside) and I turned on the radio and just relaxed... then this song came on that really spoke to me. I wanted to share it and it is Wednesday... so this must be my "Feel Good Wednesday" song.

Kristin... this one's for you.

Before the Morning - Josh Wilson
Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there’s a God who loves you where is He now

Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Someday somehow you’ll see you’ll see

Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming

So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

My friend you know how this all ends
You know where you’re going
You just don’t know how you’ll get there
So say a prayer And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God

But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time but you’ll see the bigger picture
Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory
It’s just the hurt before the healing
Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

Doing Laundry...

I have decided that dishes and laundry are not weekend activities. Working all week and then doing housework all weekend, when do you rest? I would rather spend the weekend with my wonderful husband and do housework on Monday nights.

6 years

Andy and I have been together for 6 years today! I love you, honey!

Conversation with Dad

So Andy and I were talking with Mom and Dad Saturday night... and Dad was expressing his concerns over the crazy amount of stress Andy and I have been under the past few months.

He listed just a few of the things we have walked through this year... With me working two jobs to get Andy through college, him working and doing school full time, money always being super tight, then we lost the baby, then Andy had to finish his last semester. So Andy graduated, Christmas was a few days later and then we moved over 100 miles a few days after that. So our new landlady is crazy, Andy could not find a job, I started working a new job a few days after we moved, Andy started the band with the boys, we were having to unpack our house... with continued financial stress and such. Wow. No wonder we are stressed!

Well... I guess I feel a little justified and certainly no longer crazy! Thank God for my parents!

And there is light at the end of the tunnel! Andy started a new job today! With benefits! And he has begun teaching home guitar lessons... so it is possible that I might be able to work part time instead of full time soon! I feel the weight of being the breadwinner being lifted off of my shoulders. And for the first time in 3 years, Andy and I will have a similar schedule! Maybe we will be able to go on our first vacation in 4 years!

So maybe if the stress of life lessens, it might be easier to have a baby! Just have to keep praying!

Still waiting...

Dear God,

I do not understand. It has been over six months since we lost our precious little bean. We have officially been trying for a baby for a year now. Each month we pray for a child. Each month we hope for a baby. Each month we put our faith in you... and each month we are still waiting.

Now, I know that your timing is not ours. I know we do not see the entire picture. I know that you have a plan. But I just cannot see it.

I am exhausted. I am tired of waiting. Everywhere I turn, I hear friends say "it will happen" or "just be patient". And everywhere I turn, people are pregnant and expecting their miracles. It just hurts my heart.

I feel like I am close to a breakdown. With financial stresses, unfulfilled expectations, and not much to smile about right now, it is hard to trust. I just do not know how much more I can handle.

I can feel my faith being tested... I hope I pass the test, Lord, because right now, all I can see is disappointment and pain. Some days are better than others. I guess I am just in a dark moment.

Please help me God.

Goodman House gig #2

The boys played again last night. TOTALLY different venue from the first one. A LOUD coffeehouse in Ridgetop where bands small touring bands play.




Must say, the band before them was... um, terrible. Very very very loud and not good. Then the guys got up and WOWED us. And this was a non-christian venue... the boys were singing Christian songs with awesome lyrics in the midst of some strange guys. I was VERY proud of them.

When will it be my turn?

When will it be my turn? I'm tired of finding out that everyone else is pregnant and I'm still waiting. *sigh*
Please, God... let it be my turn soon.

Blessings from above

There are times in life where I truly wonder if God hears my prayers. Valleys in my walk where all I can see is confusion and doubt.

Then there are days where He just shows up in ways unexpected. Proves that He hears and cares about our every need. It is days like this that I am amazed that I ever doubted Him.

Like yesterday... Andy and I have been struggling financially... well, for the past four years basically. But recently, our financial status has taken an even greater downfall. Barely able to make rent and bills, we were not able to go to the grocery store this week, last week or this coming week.

And then God shows His faithfulness.

I came home from work yesterday to find EIGHT brown paper bags FULL of groceries on my kitchen table. Chicken, milk, eggs, butter, cereal, sugar, potatoes, apples, bananas, juice, laundry detergent, toilet paper, paper towels, mac & cheese, bread, beef, frozen pizza, frozen veggies..... and the list goes on. Apparently, my mother-in-law decided to give us her "house warming" gift... groceries! And her timing could not be more perfect!

God is good.

I love my husband

Yesterday was a special day for Andy. He and his band mates (Greg Koehler and Marshall Tucker) had their first gig for their new band.

Before we got married, Andy was in a band with these boys and one other guy (Wallstone) but life and families got in the way. They are each extremely talented and meant to play together but this time it's different. Their main goal and purpose is to please God and reach others for Christ. Their music and lyrics are written with that in mind.

Now they have formed a new band called "Goodman House". Hopefully they will be playing many more gigs soon.



All I can say is that I am so proud of Andy and the boys. Their first gig was a youth rally at Greg and Kendalyn's church. They did a wonderful job.

2010

It has been a while since I last posted something. To say we've been busy is the understatement of the year.

Andy graduated from Tennessee Tech on December 19th (Praise God) with a degree in History. Then we had a lovely Christmas with family and friends. Then we moved... the day after Christmas (never move the day after Christmas...ugh) to White House, TN.

I was offered a job at a local daycare here in White House and Andy began to teach guitar lessons at a place not too far from here. We are still praying for a full time position for Andy... but the doors have not yet opened for that, meaning that money is still pretty tight.

I had a wonderful 27th birthday in January. Nana was in town and she made my birthday dinner. (Mom was still laid up from her surgery right after Christmas so we had dinner at her house so she could be there... and since we had just moved.) And then we met friends after dinner and I got to go shopping with the girls... very fun.

On February 3rd, it was five months since we lost our little bean. We really thought that we would be pregnant again by now. It truly has been harder than I expected. Nearly all of my closest friends are pregnant or have little ones or both. I hurt every time they have an ultrasound or any baby news. I have had to battle envy daily.

But each month I am still hopeful. When we do have a child, we know it will be a true gift from God. I just hope that I am obedient and a blessing while I wait.

http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWI-iZsIKIk